deaded and confused.

Ok so I had a strange day today. Had Loz coming round to do pregnancy tests, meeting emma, going to anti-natal appointment. Well two of the three things didn't happen and thats a usual day in my deaded world. Daisy hasn't been very active at all and I'm starting to worry incase there is something wrong. I think seeing the midwife today would of put my mind at ease. I just feel so helpless being pregnant and not knowing what the hell I'm doing... Do all pregnant women feel this useless?

I guess I feel a little lonely aswell, arn't babies supposed to be created out of love? I miss having someone... Even though there was bad times I guess I miss Gaz even though he seems to of moved on pretty damn quickly and be in love. I don't feel anything for him, I don't think I have for awhile. This is a pretty sad blog... might feel perkier lately... anyone wanna rub my back for me?